he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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