i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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