what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
