The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
