As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
