Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
