Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
