if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
