I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
