Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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