Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
last night I used snow as a chaser
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
