Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
