i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
