drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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