Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
