we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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