Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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