she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't turn off my feet"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
