**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize