it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
