yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
