i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
