Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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