i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
a search helicopter?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
