I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize