she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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