I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
