people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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