Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
