I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
