Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
