I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
