I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
