I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize