I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
