If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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