I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
