I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
don't judge my taste in strippers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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