Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
