I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
