During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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