Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
