all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize