Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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