I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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