it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
