You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
