I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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