as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize