we have pet lesbian snakes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
