It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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