you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
