I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
