i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
