Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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