that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
