my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
