No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
