She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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