Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
