Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dick very happy bro
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
