their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My life is pants optional.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
