I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Everclear isn't food dammit
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
