Soap is not a condiment
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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