He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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