I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
