i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize