My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
