Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
